Home, with anecdotes

So I stayed home from work today with what feels an awful lot like the flu. Are you supposed to get the flu already? I've always been precocious. I sure hope it doesn't travel on to the little ones. Alex had the day off of from school for a workday, and our blessed and sainted babysitter Mayra took him and Alex away for about five hours to Playspace, the mall, and to play outside, with her mom and her younger sisters who adopted Alex as a sort of mascot. Alex claimed that the ten-year-old "looked like Susan". She doesn't look anything like Susan, but I thought Susan would appreciate the youthful shout-out.

When she brought them back, Alex said "Hi Mom! I forgot about you!". When I asked him about it later, he said, "well, I forgot that you were home sick so what I really meant was, 'I forgot about you! Being at home!" Comedic pause. "Actually, I did forget about you."

My old vacuum cleaner has been working less and less well lately, so I finally bought a secondhand Kirby. It's only five years old but it looks like it is from 1950. It is carved out of a solid block of stainless steel, weighs a metric ton, comes with 75 attachments including shampooer, and is built (and priced) to last. The Kirby company does not care about ease or convenience or low prices or made in China plastic accessories or selling its bags in convenient retail locations. You are going to read the manual to figure out how to work this thing or you will buy another vacuum cleaner, dang it! Alex loves this vacuum cleaner because of the complicated maneuvers to deattach and attach the attachments. So after forgetting about me, he spent a good hour with the Kirby, doing everything with it except, of course, actually vacuuming.

And the final funny moment of the night was when he noticed the following icon on a DVD cover. He immediately recognizes the "no _____ing" symbol and loves trying to figure out what is prohibited. He asked me what it was, and I said you weren't allowed to copy the DVD. "Oh. I thought it was saying, if you want to throw this DVD away, don't throw it in the toilet!"

Links to silly websites, by request

The anagram generator is here. The best I can do with your little girl's name and first last name, James, is Japan -- Sick Pop!

Another fun time-waster, Alice the artificial intelligence computer chatter, is here.

Oh ye of little work, knock yeselves out.

Minutiae and random things

1. I found a cool anagram website. The only one in my immediate family that generated a good anagram was Molly, who anagrams to "roomy belly." She is quite the eater, although you'll notice she stopped at one bite of Topsail Salad, which was evidently slipped to her behind my back....

2. Box Tops for Education is closing this week at Douglas so if you have any, please mail them to me pronto!

3. Another fundraising opportunity -- woo hoo! The school sells gift cards for many popular retailers -- Borders, Amazon.com, our beloved Dream Dinners, many others. You pay face value for the cards and the school takes a percentage that is surprisingly high, sometimes 10% or more. Email me or post a comment if you're interested and I'll type up the whole list of retailers and %ages. They are going to take orders every two weeks and you get your cards the following week so there will be plenty of opportunities before Christmas, aka "the holidays".

R2D2 costume postponed to 2007

After intense negotiations in the two-party talks between Daddy and Alex, Alex has agreed to postpone his demand for an R2D2 costume until Halloween 2007. Alex stipulated that the postponement lead to six-party talks. Consultants to the 2007 R2D2 costume effort will include Mommy & Daddy, Papa Dennis, Uncle Dan, James Jackson Sanborn, and Randy Jones. Anyone with ideas about the proper arrangement of trash cans, salad bowls, wire, paint, and foam is encouraged to contact Mommy or Daddy.

For Halloween 2006, Alex will be Luke Skywalker, and Molly will be Princess Leia. Experts predict cuteness.

Guest blog from Papa Jeff, and another culinary treat

Papa Jeff asked me to post the following ruminations on what is evidently called "From Totality to Infinity Topsail Salad":
For posterity:
The sequencing of my Fr Totality to Infinity Topsail Salad is a bit off, especially the tortilla chips which come last... lest they become too soggy wi the salsa. Also it is important to know that the excellent scrambled eggs base,rendered earlier that morning by chef Stutzman, has to be there to support the additional superstructure. But otherwise you've got it right, Jen. How can we doubt that this is clearly the answer to the omnivore's dilemna?! The proof of this "pudding" was that it was laboratory tested by the culinary and nutritional expert, our beloved Molly, who prounounced it good! Actually, she had a little bite and said "Burp!".
with love,
Papa Jeff

Prominently featured on the Daily Show last night was another product Papa Jeff might enjoy...

"Topsail Salad", a recipe from my father in law

We spent a nice weekend this past weekend at Topsail Island with the elder Boyers and the young monkeys. The little ones actually got in the water and just generally had a great time, and Josh and I always like getting out of town for a little while. Eventually maybe we'll have some video we can link up to, but that would require free time.
As the trip was winding up, Jeff concocted and ate the following, which he referred to as "egg salad". Tears of laughter were streaming down my eyes, and Chelcy and Fred seemed to think it was kind of weird too -- "like a fraternity prank" -- but no one else thought it was a terribly weird dish. Not that they wanted any, or anything, but still. You be the judge.

TOPSAIL SALAD
Take a couple of leftover, scrambled eggs from breakfast.
Reheat in the microwave.
Add salsa.
Add chicken.
Add tortilla chips.
Add leftover french fries from last night's seafood dinner.
Add leftover flounder from the same dinner.
Add shrimp from the same dinner.
Add pieces of apple.
Add salad dressing.
Add Goldfish brand crackers.
Layer in a bowl and eat. Any and all challenges of items to be added to Topsail Salad should be added to the extent humanly possible.
Lie down for a while.

Judicial Endorsements -- woo hoo!

The coveted Jen Boyer judicial endorsements are out, again! All of these are incumbents with the exception of Robin Hudson, who is running for an open seat, but the sample ballots I have seen do not say, for example "Parker Seat", as I think they probably should. So write them, or whoever you're going to vote for, down.

I feel good about these endorsements and there are not any particularly close calls here. We really do not need Rachel Lea Hunter who calls herself "Madame Justice" and has no judicial experience whatsoever -- for the SUPREME COURT! -- nor do we need Rusty Duke ("I am a Conservative, endorsed by Senators Elizabeth Dole and Richard Burr. I believe in the Rule of Law...") We don't really need Kris Bailey, although I've met him and he's a nice guy, who proudly advertises that he is also endorsed by our Republican senators (and no one else) and that he has taken NO LAWYER MONEY.

Indulge me in just a tiny rant, in that 1) judicial elections are supposed to be nonpartisan, with the idea of electing fair-minded people who are not ideologues and do not have an agenda or an axe to grind. In that respect, beginning your introduction by saying you are a Conservative kinda kicks that in the butt. 2)If your judicial introduction is about how you believe in the Rule of Law (as if that somehow set you apart from the other candidates, who want to abolish laws) and you want to restore "family, prayer, and the Constitution" (as opposed to the other candidates, who want to promote divorce, atheism, and dictatorships) and your endorsements are entirely from politicans, there is a phrase for that type of judge. It's called an ACTIVIST JUDGE, and it's not just for Democrats. If you see a phrase like "the role of judge is to interpret and apply the law and not to seek to make law. It is the job of the legislature, not the courts." that is CODE for a conservative activist judge who doesn't like various and sundry rulings on say, the separation of church and state and will reverse those decisions and claim that they are only interpreting the law unlike those previous justices who were making law. 3) Lawyers are pretty much the only people who care about judicial elections -- I mean, seriously, are you still reading this? Get a life! -- and they are the source of probably 90% of the campaign funds. If you're not taking money from lawyers, you're getting it from someone else who has a serious axe to grind. If you want to run as clean a campaign as possible, go the publicly financed route. 4) neither "Conservative" (except in the UK) or "Rule of Law" should be capitalized.

Okay, back to the endorsements. As I said, all are incumbents -- voting the bums out only applies this year to the partisan elections, and boy howdy does it ever apply! -- except for an open seat, and all of these folks are experienced people who are on the level, are not ideologues, and have all the reputable endorsements, i.e. newspapers, different groups of attorneys including plaintiffs' and defense bar, teachers, public employees, former justices. So make a list...

NC Supreme Court Chief Justice: Sarah Parker
NC Supreme Court Associate Justices: Mark Martin, Patricia Timmons-Goodson, Robin Hudson
NC Court of Appeals: Bob Hunter, Linda Stephens

Guest Blog from Aunt Chelcy!

"Last night I was babysitting Alex and Molly. They were both very sweet and good. Alex was getting ready for bed and putting his pajamas on when he realized he was sans underoos. I said I didn't think it was a big deal, but his call. He told me "you need underwear with every outfit." He pointed out the fly and how it was handy for the mornings, so that you don't even have to pull your pants down to pee. "Yeah, that is cool," I agreed. He thought for a minute and added, "I heard that they're going to make ones with a hole for poop, too." I was laughing so hard I couldn't talk, which I think hurt his feelings. I hadn't heard about this new development in the underoo line, but then again, I only read adult Vogue."

Sorry about the continued lack of pictures...

...but Alex's teacher, Mrs. Johnston, has a few of him and his class here.
Click on class pictures.

Stuff and nonstuff (thanks JS's!)

We have decided that Molly is a world champion in the sport of "not being held when she doesn't want to be held." Here are a few of the being-held insurgency techniques -- all self-taught!

The Heisman Trophy: a stiff arm to the jugular, blindingly painful
The Twist and Shout: A 180 degree turn with a loud scream, in case of ambiguity
The We Shall Overcome: Arms raised overhead so your captor can't get a good grip under the arms. Go limp and boneless so it seems like you weigh 20 pounds more.
The Champion Bass: Thrash, buck, slam your head at ninety miles an hour backwards into the sternum of the captor. No holds barred, your life is on the line!
The Thumbscrews: When the captor's claws are coming towards you, grab a thumb in each fist. Squeeze the thumbs and shove the captor's hands back at them. Be firm; the subtlety of your message may be lost if you don't shove hard enough.

We spent a nice three day weekend in the Washington, DC area with the kids. We went to the zoo and the Air and Space museum, and if you think that we should've been able to accomplish more than that you've never taken Molly on a field trip. Everywhere we go we see calm toddlers who, incredibly, sit quietly in their strollers. If she is moving somewhere at a clip which satisfies her, or if she is asleep, Molly might...might...sit in the stroller. But if she's on the Metro? How could you expect her to sit when there are these cool poles she could be holding onto? You will be forced to choose between screaming, thrashing baby in the stroller or screaming, thrashing baby in your arms, methodically working her way through every trick above. And why on earth would she want to eat while confined to a high chair when she could sit on her lap and help herself to exactly what she would like off of your plate? In some ways, she is so much like Alex it is eerie....just full-tilt, all the time, tirelessly.

On the plus side, she is so beautiful and sweet and charming. And, she is being put into her crib awake at night and she goes to sleep and sleeps through the night. Maybe Dr. Ferber has a book about counter-being held-insurgency techniques...